Curiosity Central

The Chicken or the Egg?

2009-10-12T15:52:00.002-05:00

Is Will Smith so wise because he is successful, or did he become so successful because he is so wise?

Need a little inspiration?

2009-07-16T13:23:00.002-05:00

The best pre-game speech in sports history.

2009-07-14T09:53:00.002-05:00

If you eat watch this....

If you eat and exercise, or not, watch this....

Twit-what?

2009-03-12T17:13:00.010-05:00

Twitter is not the next big thing in social media.

It is THE THING.

Everyone seems to be using Twitter. Including lots o famous people. John McCain, Lance Armstrong, Richard Branson, Anderson Copper, Al Gore, and Karl Rove just to name a few.

There are also thousands of interesting but not famous people on Twitter. That is what makes it so fun and useful.

The thing about Twitter is until you use it you can't get it. And without a little guidance, its difficult to know where to start. It is so experiential that trying to describe it or it's value is nearly impossible in words.

When I first heard about it nearly a year ago I thought it sounded really stupid and that the person who told me about it must be nuts. Now I am that person. Twitter is here to stay. Is the place to put your social media efforts, especially if you are using them on the business channel. Business gets done on twitter make no mistake about it. This is a a business application.

By now you have probably heard of It. Its been talked about in the media, on the web and in your network, even on Nightline and The View. Its sounds silly, so what's the big deal? The big deal is Twitter is leveragable, here to stay, really fun and most importantly exceptionally useful.
Twitter is a powerful vehicle for social media, micro-blogging, connecting with other interesting people and just flat out getting things done. The business applications of twitter are only limited by your ingenuity.

Go out and Fail...Please

2009-03-11T10:10:00.005-05:00

Here is what I wrote about failure in 2007

Cirque du Soleil has a secret, and it’s big.

It is that the performers are failures. They fail consistently, every day, every show, sometimes every minute.

Every performer, every day—failure.

Recently I went to a Cirque du Soleil show—not my first, but the first I’ve seen with my high-performance-coaching eyes. What I saw, besides an incredibly entertaining show and story with amazing tricks, choreography, and acrobatics, was a bunch of mistakes—failures, if you will. I suspect very few in the audience noticed the mistakes, but I did, and it got me thinking about failure, and its value in high performance.

Each of those performers has failed so many times in practice, if they are going to fail during the performance, they know when and how it will happen. They know this because it has already happened hundreds, thousands of times. It happens in practice, in rehearsal, even in the shows.

One performer, a clown-like character, was doing gymnastics and tricks on a ladder. In addition to doing the tricks, he had to keep the ladder on its two feet. To begin any trick, he had to balance and climb the ladder. Three times he got part or most of the way up and slid back down, as if that were part of the show. Truth was, he was failing. He had lost control of the ladder and needed to start over.

How did he know?

My guess is he had failed hundreds of times in practice and in shows. That did not stop him from going on in front of a crowd of people each night and failing—again.

How many times have you not done something because you might fail?

How many times have you had a great idea or been inspired about something and then did not go for it because you think it might not work out?

In our culture we do not tolerate the learning curve. We expect that we can do something perfectly the first time, and if we suspect in the slightest way that we can’t, then we won’t even try, because we might fail.

Of course you’re going to fail! It’s the only way to learn. Wow! Now that’s a powerful double-bind we’re in: I can’t try because I might fail, but I can’t learn because in order to learn I have to fail. No wonder some people never get off the couch.

How does the ladder guy know what to do when he loses his balance? He has learned through failing how to stay on, and very important, how to fail.

Cirque is a great show, and really just a series of failures made to look as if they were meant to be. When the performers mess up, they don’t stop and say, “Wait, wait, stop the show, I just messed up, I need to start over.” No, they go on as if nothing happened, as if that was part of the show.

How do you handle it when you begin to fail? Do you push on through or put the brakes on, stop the event, get out of the car, and make yourself wrong?

The difference between high performers and low performers is, high performers have made thousands more mistakes than low performers.

In the January 2007 issue of Outside magazine, America’s greatest runner, Dean Karnazes, who runs ultra marathons (50 or 100 miles at a time) and who just ran 50 marathons in 50 states in 50 days, talked about failure.

“Unless you are pushing yourself, you are not living to the fullest. You cannot be afraid to fail, but unless you fail, you have not pushed enough. If you look at successful people and happy people, they fail a lot, because they are consistently trying to expand and go further….”

Oh, and what about baseball players? The mean batting average of a professional ball player is something less than .300. (The all-time record for batting average in the major league is held by Ty Cobb at .366.) That means a player gets on base—succeeds—only three of every 10 times he goes up to bat. What? Yep, they are willing go to the plate knowing that on any given day, years and years of statistics support that seven out of 10 times they will fail.

And before you go to the plate, you want to know for sure. Are you crazy?

What makes them willing to go to the plate despite the odds?

The real paradox is that being able to manage that level of failure is one of the reasons they become professionals. What? Yes, in all three examples, these high performers are all doing the same thing putting themselves in a position to fail, expecting not to, knowing the possibility of it, being prepared for the possibility, having enough experience to know what failure feels like, and still being willing to go to the plate, attempt to run 100 miles or get on the wobbly ladder in front of hundreds of people.

High performance, then, does not mean making no mistakes. It means tolerating your learning curve and the failure that will come with learning long enough to get into a position to succeed.

What are you willing to fail for? What would you do if you knew you could not fail? Does failure really exist, or have we made it up to keep ourselves small?

Curious about high performance? Let’s talk.

“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

—Thomas Edison, inventor

Top 5 reasons people don’t achieve their goals

2009-01-11T15:38:00.001-05:00

It’s that time of year again. Everyone is looking at what they want to achieve in the coming months. Many of you have realized that New Year’s resolutions don’t work and have stopped making them. Good for you. That is the good news. The bad news is that traditional goal setting doesn’t really work either. Think about it. How much of the time do you and or the people around you get what you really want? 40%, 25%, or is it really more like 10-15%? If you are setting goals and only getting some of what you want something is off. Today, instead of telling you how to set goals, because, let’s face it, you all know how to do that, we’ll talk about the top 5 reasons people don’t make their goals. And trust me…it’s not what you think.

#5 Creating goals that are driven by circumstance instead of desire.
Basing goals on what is happening at the current moment (circumstance) taints those goals and is quite often not what you really want to achieve, but what you think you can do given the circumstance. If goals do not come out of a strong desire they will likely be abandoned before they are achieved.

#4 Putting get before give.
Goal setting mistakenly focuses us on getting first and giving second. That is backwards. You have to put give before get always. Easy to say, yet tough to do. Who and what do you want to contribute to, and what do they get from your contribution? Your goals have to put give before get always.

#3 Thinking you have to take the right action.
Many people get stuck thinking that the action has to be the exact right action before they will take any action. This is a classic way people underachieve. They are so afraid of making a mistake they won’t take any action. This puts people in a giant double bind. Think about it, there is no way to possibly know if the action was right or wrong until you take it. Any action is better than no action. Leap and the net will appear.

#2 Going for what you think you want instead of what you really want.
Similar to #5 most people are going for what they think they want, what they think they should do or what others want them to do. These kinds of goals are easily abandoned because people will only get themselves what they don’t want for so long.

And the number one reason people do not make their goals…..

#1 The goals are too low.
Contrary to popular belief, setting attainable goals creates ordinary performance. The goal setting specialists have really screwed us here. They say all the time, make it achievable. If you set a goal that you can already see you can achieve, that is not a goal that is a task, and tasks are boring. Truth is most people don’t make their goals because they are not challenging or exciting enough. Make a goal bigger than you believe is achievable, handle the four preceding problems and you’ll make it.

The Reality is You HAVE to Sell Something

2008-11-25T12:01:00.018-05:00

Before Reality Selling, selling felt like a tug-of-war. There was pushing, pulling, sweating, and struggling. By the end, I felt like I was dragged through the mud - and I was the salesperson.

"Reality Selling" turned the selling process into a whole new experience. Mattison’s way is fun, authentic, and it really works. Now I enjoy selling and my clients enjoy being sold to. And the best thing? I'm making more money and no one feels dirty at the end!

Sarah Shah
Image Coach, TV Beauty Expert & Speaker
www.sarahshah.com

Reality Selling is designed to be very experiential. It is not meant to be a training but is designed to create a learning enviroment where you can really learn effective selling skills. When you really learn something you can adapt and change it to any situation at any time. Learning to sell is like learning to ride a bike, it takes more than just talking about it. You have to get on the bike and be willing to fall off and get back on again. But once you have it, you can get back on the bike even years later. I invite you to take the ride. You will learn how to sell more stuff, help more people and make more money.

Soon after I started my coaching practice I completed Reality Selling. It’s a good thing I did! Learning the tools in the Reality Selling program helped me overcome my fears about sales. The “reality” is, as Mattison says, “If you can’t sell, you can’t eat!” I learned to use coaching tools in the sales process. Now I know when my prospects really want coaching even when they say they don’t and this helps me move past what was once an obstacle in closing the sale. Thanks, Mattison!

Kathi Crawford, SPHR
People Possibilities
http://www.peoplepossibilities.com

SERVICE SELLING COURSE OUTLINE

DAY1

Introductions

Ground Rules

Distinctions: Marketing and Selling

Selling

Types

Feelings

Myths

Distinctions

How to get create interest in what you have. It is not how you think

Homework Assignment for upcoming week

DAY 2

What did you learn this week from your homework?

Mattisons secret weapon in selling

Distinctions

All Buyers are Liars

Avoiding the conceptual decision making trap

Changing the sales environment from competition to cooperation

Homework

DAY3

Debrief homework assignments

Selling demonstration

No more wimpy selling

Getting you way by giving in, without giving up or being wimpy - Video

Students selling and feedback

DAY 4

Review homework

How to Kill Sales - Attachment and Agenda

Students selling and feedback

Wrap up

Beginning Monday, May 4, 2009

How can you make sure your business will survive?

Even in a robust economy you need great selling skills to prosper. In the current economy you can market and hope to survive or you can learn to sell and thrive. Most marketing programs do a great job of teaching you to market, but they simply do not teach you to sell.

The simple fact is that any entrepreneur selling high value, big ticket items has to sell and has to do it well. I am sorry to say there is no way around it. Not now, not ever.

Is it right for you?

Reality Selling is right for you if you:
*think that selling and marketing are the same thing
*pray your marketing works so you don't have to sell
*know you don't sell well but don't know how to fix it
*resist selling and want to change that
*are not creating results that are equal to your efforts

Not for you?

Let me be clear this seminar is not for people who are happy just selling $20 books or $50 coaching sessions. This seminar is for people who want to get paid what they are worth. That can't happen with marketing alone.

Share Yourself with the World

Learning to sell will allow you to offer your passion and brilliance to the world and get paid what you are worth. That is your responsibility. Are you willing to take it on? If your answer is yes, we invite you to attend Reality Selling.

Reality Selling Virtual begins soon:
Mondays, May 4, 11, 18 June 1 at 3:00-5:00 pm Central time, 4:00-6:00 Eastern time.

Ready to register? Click Here
Need more information
Greystone Guides

Want to talk to Mattison first? Call me. 832 283 2476

Mattison Grey

21k in 21 days

2008-10-30T18:05:00.002-05:00

If you think the economy is keeping you from getting clients and making money...

...YOU ARE RIGHT. But you don't have to be.

I recently generated 21K in 21 days in a struggling economy and just days after Hurricane IKE hit my city (Houston). To top it off my electricity and internet where out for 17 days! Yet even with these 3 big challenges I still managed to gross 21K in 21 days, and not a penny came from the internet, e-commerce, teleclasses, or information product sales! No MLM or Real Estate either.

How did I do it? Julia Stewart will interview me and I'll tell you everything I can in 50 minutes.

Join me and Julia Stewart, and discover the secret to making $1000 per day, even in "this economy"!

This interview is best for service oriented professionals and people who are selling services and experiences.

Thursday, November 6th. 4pm Eastern/3pm Central/1pm Pacific.

www.WorldClock.org for more Time Zone conversions.

Connect with both of us at www.MasteryCoachExchange.com

See you there!

Coaching for Curiosity White Paper

2008-09-11T13:46:00.007-05:00

Thanks for tuning in to Mattison Grey on Jonathon Manskes Inevitable Success Internet Radio Show.
To sign up for Mattisons Newsletter and get the Coaching for Curiosity White Paper for free,
use the coupon code given on the show and
Click Here

Listen to the Sept 11th show here http://www.realcoachingradio.com/node/69

For more information about Mattisons programs visit her website. www.greystoneguides.com
or you may call the office directly. 832 283 247

Servant Entreprenurship

2008-08-06T11:10:00.002-05:00

The path to business success and prosperity through strategy and service

Servant Entrepreneurship™

Did you decide on your current career because……
It was an easy way to make money?
You could work from home?
You were dissatisfied with your job and it seemed like a good escape?

It is unlikely any of these were true motivators.

It was probably something more like…

I want to work with people.
I want to help people have great lives.
I want to serve people or animals or the environment.

The truth is most people are looking for a meaningful way to contribute to others or to the world. But how can you serve others and become prosperous at the same time? Mattison Grey has learned in over 10 years of coaching entrepreneurs and professionals (and being one) that Servant Entrepreneurship™ is the way. The basic premise of Servant Entrepreneurship™ is serve first, leverage second, with a healthy dose of strategy mixed in. Without leverage, service is just servitude. Leveraging first and serving second is just manipulation. Serve First, Leverage Second is Servant Entrepreneurship™

Who do you know that is a true SE?

Learning Curve or Curve Ball?

2008-07-12T15:31:00.004-05:00

You Learn Something New Everyday

That's the old saying. But do we? Really?

What did you learn yesterday?
The day before?
Last week?
Last month?

Are you even paying enough attention to know what you could have learned today?

Learning is the key to success.
Learning is different from knowing.
In fact it takes not knowing - a beginners mind to really learn.
What have you learned lately?

What can you do today to make you better tomorrow? Learn something!
What was the last book you read? The last seminar you went to? The last teaching CD you listened to? What can you do today to make you better tomorrow? Learn something!

Currently I am reading 3 books. Last year I read 5 books, attended 3 seminars and listened to numerous CD's. Of course, some were better than others, but I learned something from each of them.

A few weeks ago I found myself in a mini sales seminar. I could say it was good, but that would be a lie. The truth is they were some of the worst ideas I have ever heard about selling. A couple of people walked out, but I stayed. Why? I was convinced there was something I could learn or that would be useful to me. And there was.
Every situation you are in is an opportunity to learn something. The BIG question is are you curious enough to find it and resourceful enough to turn it into learning?

We live in a I want it now, instant gratification, I can't wait, just get 'er done world. Problem is real success doesn't work like that. Ask anyone who is very successful they will all tell you the same thing, it took 10 years of hard, determined work to achieve their overnight success. If you are stuck looking for the magic bullet then finding and leveraging the learning in every situation may be impossible.

Unwilling to work that hard or persist for that long? Then you are working at the wrong thing. The only way to achieve true success is to be willing to do the work for the sake of the work, not for the sake of the future or the money or the achievement. Working for the sake of working is the sweet spot for real learning and is called Mastery.

What is the business application for learning? The more you learn and grow the more valuable you are to those around you. The more value you can bring to the table the more you can get paid. Learning equals earning.

What will you learn today?

Newsletter Archive

2008-07-07T10:21:00.005-05:00

I finally found a way to easily put all our newsletters out on the web. Thank you Constant Contact.

Learn more about Constant Contact here: http://tinyurl.com/6p46px

By the way, if you don't have a newsletter you should. Even if you are an employee.

Check out our new GREY MATTERS Newsletter archives

View the

GREY MATTERS Newsletter Archive

The Problem with Persuasion

2008-04-08T22:07:00.006-05:00

Influence trumps persuasion.

According to a recent Amazon.com search there are 30,888 books available on the topic of persuasion. The question is, do you really want to persuade people or would you rather influence them?

Webster’s defines ‘persuade’ as this:

to move by argument, entreaty, or expostulation to a belief, position, or course of action

And Webster’s defines ‘influence’ as this:

the act or power of producing an effect without apparent exertion of force or direct exercise of command

With these definitions in mind, which do you prefer to master? Persuasion or influence? If you are like me, I am not inspired by the idea of moving people by the act of ‘argument.’ What does inspire me is the idea that I could produce a desired effect without the exercise of command! As you may already be aware, most people run around in attempt to persuade other people to see things their way or do things their way. The problem with this is it causes resistance. Persuasion actually causes resistance. As previously noted, the definition of persuasion is to move someone by argument, but who wants to be on either side of an argument? Especially when it causes the people to reject our views, it causes people to resist us, and it causes people to move quickly away from how we desire them to react!

Has this ever happened to you? Have you ever not done something you wanted to do just because someone else wanted you to do it? Think about that for a minute. Yes, I believe we all have done this. And people do it to us all the time. People will deliberately not do what they want to do because they know someone wants them to do it! This is a perfect example of someone rejecting, resisting, and moving away. This is what happens when someone is trying to persuade them.

Here is just one real-life example: You go to a store or retail outlet to buy—not shop, to buy—something you really need or want. You have already decided today is the day you are going to bite the bullet and buy this one thing. Let’s also say this store is one that requires the assistance of a salesperson. (Oh no, not a salesperson!) It could be a jewelry store, car dealership, electronics store, or any other high pressure sales situation… You’re in the store. You spot that one thing, that one thing you are looking for. You ask to see it… and then, “Bam!” The salesperson jumps on it. You can just feel how much they really want you to buy it, and they push for you to do so. How many times in your life have you left a store without purchasing the very thing you wanted simply because you felt the salesperson was aggressively trying to persuade you to make the purchase. Do you remember how that situation made you feel? Did you feel pushed, sold, and or disrespected? Now, has this shoe ever been on the other foot? Have you ever tried to persuade someone to do something and they declined to see it your way? How did this make you feel? How do you suspect it made them feel?

Here’s another great example: You are driving in a busy parking lot searching for an empty parking spot. You have been circling and now you see a person walking down your row to their car. They see that you are waiting. Does it seem like they take extra time to get in the car, get situated and back out, or is that your imagination? Studies have actually shown that when a driver knows someone is waiting for their spot, they take much longer to vacate the spot. Why? They know you want it, and they don’t want to give it up. Sounds crazy, doesn’t it?

The biggest secret about persuasion is that it simply doesn’t work. It doesn’t work because it produces resistance. The key to getting what you want and creating an atmosphere of cooperation is the art of “Inspired Influence.” How do you influence people? The short answer is this: You have to be “in service” to them. How do you do that? You can choose one of two ways: By using curiosity to help them get what they really want or by getting over the attachment of ‘what’s in it for you.’

In the meantime, if you want to learn how to influence people around you, there are over 180,000 books on Amazon.com about influence, including one titled Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion. (WHAT?) To have your own experience of “Inspired Influence” attend an upcoming Reality Selling Seminar and join us for a powerful day of learning how you can stop trying to persuade and instead learn how to inspire through influence!

Contact:

Mattison Grey

Mattison@greystoneguides.com

www.greystoneguides.com

832 823 2476

I know, I know. The Knowing Myth

2008-01-24T11:37:00.001-05:00

I have been studying high performers—and low performers—for years.

The question that comes up consistently is: What sets the high performers apart from everyone else? What are the qualities and characteristics that make some people break out and perform beyond what anyone thought possible? What keeps other people from doing great things?

The so-called experts have concluded that the high performers believe in themselves more, are more persistent, perhaps more talented, more focused, have a better work ethic, etc.

This expert believes that while those things may be have some influence, they are not the secret sauce of achieving high performance. The most impactful difference between high achievers and everyone else is that the high performers are able to navigate and take action in the unknown better than their less-curious counterparts.

Low achievers are constantly stopped by the need to know before they even try. They ask themselves questions like: What will happen? How will the entire thing turn out? How can I start when I can't see how it will go? Because knowing the answer to any of these questions is impossible, they become stuck in the illusion that they have to know in order to do. Inside this double bind, they are often unable to try. The trap of having to know keeps them small.

In contrast, high achievers take action in the face of uncertainty. Navigating the unknown and being able to act in spite of it requires a high level of curiosity.

What is curiosity? How would you define it? We've asked thousands of people this exact question, and all the answers are surprisingly similar. People say curiosity is something like: the need to know, looking for the answer. True curiosity is none of these things. It is being comfortable in the unknown, not having to have an answer, and, oh my goodness! not having to be right.

What do you have to know? And how is that stopping you from taking action?

Where in your life do you have to be right? And how is that keeping you from being the best you can be?

This way of being curious is directly related to innovation. What if Thomas Edison let the unknown stop him? Would we have electricity? It took an immense amount of curiosity for Edison to continue the quest.

What about Sony and the Walkman? They really had no hard evidence that the public wanted it. As it turns out, the Walkman was the first step toward the MP3 player—technology that changes our world. There was no way Sony could have predicted how that would turn out.

George Martinez used curiosity at Sterling Bank and changed the face of small business banking in Houston, Texas. While he was the chairman and CEO of Sterling Bancshares, Martinez grew the bank from $3 million to more than $3.5 billion in assets. During his 32 years there, he was instrumental in taking the bank public and achieving record profits for 15 consecutive years. Martinez used his curiosity to navigate his talent management and staff situations and empowered all his employees to do the same, producing record profits at the same time.

The single most important skill people need to break out of the ordinary and into the extraordinary is the skill of curiosity, which allows people to gracefully navigate the unknown. Curiosity is the central tool in our business practice.

We use our curiosity to find yours. Once you find your curiosity, your brilliance can emerge. Applying curiosity to your brilliance allows you to bring it to the world, which is what the high performers are doing all the time, they just aren’t telling.

If you want to read how curiosity works in high-performance workplaces, read Mattison’s recently published white paper, Coaching for Curiosity.

Get the White Paper for Free (a $14.99 value) When you join our mailing list

Use the coupon code: CFSP122008

GO AHEAD! YES IT IS UNKNOWN -DO IT ANYWAY!

ResoluWhat?

2008-01-06T13:17:00.000-05:00

STOP!
DON'T!
WHATEVER YOU DO.....PLEASE DO NOT MAKE ANOTHER NEW YEARS RESOLUTION

New Years Resolutions don't work......for anyone. ever.

The root of the word resolution is solution, making the word resolution re-solution.
Making another same old solution to the same old problems. STOP the INSANITY

Even the word resolution has an inherit flaw - no wonder they don't work.

My year will be resolution and goal free and I bet I have my best year ever.

Who wants to take that bet?

Twice in one week!

2007-11-16T22:47:00.000-05:00

On Sunday Coaching was on 60 minutes
Watch it here
and
On Friday the Value of Failure was on 20/20

I wrote about value of Failure on September 1, 2007 in my newsletter